Little Miss Horror Nerd’s Little Horror Blog 43

MURDER ON THE GREEN

The Greenskeeper is horror comedy released in 2002 that stars John Rocker, a retired American Major League Baseball relief pitcher (Ed Note: And noted bigot).

The story centers around Allen, a young man who is an unsuccessful screenwriter  but whose mother and stepfather own a golf course. Allen works at said golf course, smokes pot and generally goofs off in his free time (Ed Note: So….everyone who has ever worked at a golf course). This golf course has a legend about a greenskeeper who was burned in a fire years ago and now lives in a shack in the woods vowing revenge on those responsible. When Allen sneaks his friends in to the course one night to party and they start dying, obviously it’s the Greenskeeper coming back for revenge!

My favorite type of horror movie is a slasher so I chose this movie despite the odd concept and bad reviews because I hoped it would make me laugh at the very least. I was not wrong. Do not misunderstand me. This is NOT a good film. The acting is terrible. The production seemed cheap and it was just a corny mess. However, it did make me giggle quite a few times. It was sort of a cross between Caddyshack and Friday the 13th if you replaced the actors in those films with people you grabbed off the street who had no experience or skill whatsoever (Ed Note: Hey, don’t give away the secrets of the Leprechaun franchise!).

A few of the kills were actually pretty fun. One party goer was impaled on some sort of gadget and the killer ground up his dick with it (Ed Note: I’m going to go on a limb and guess it was a ball cleaner). There was also a couple having sex who were impaled with one of those flags that mark the holes on a golf course. My personal favorite was the guy impaled with a sprinkler head which promptly turned on and started spraying his blood the way it would water. There were two pairs of naked boobs and many scantily clad ladies for the viewers to enjoy.

My recommendation is to get drunk or high before watching this movie to increase your viewing pleasure. This movie is currently streaming on Netflix.

LITTLE MISS HORROR NERD’S RATING: 2 1/2 out of 5