Puppet Titties.
That’s what you’re going to remember most from The Monster Puppet Massacre. Unless, of course, puppet titties are part of your daily routine. If that’s the case, more power to you. Please don’t move across the street from me.
The Monster Puppet Massacre is not just a clever name, but it tells the entire story of the 2010 Straight to DVD horror movie. There is a a monster puppet and he goes on a massacre. Pretty simple stuff, really.
Dustin Mills’ creation uses as many gimmicks as possible mixed with a decent horror story and many horror stereotypes and cliches. And fart jokes. Lots and lots of fart jokes.
The story revolves around Charlie Hawkins and a group of teenagers who have been tempted by a prize of one million dollars should they stay overnight in the creepy Wagner Mansion. Sounds a lot like House on Haunted Hill, right? One character even points this out. The problem for these teens is the fact that the master of the house, Wolfgang Wagner, has created a giant monster in order to exact revenge on the teenagers for closure on a backstory that comes out over the course of the movie.
Included in the group is Charlie’s love interest the overly sweet Gwen, an English limey punk rock bastard, his busty punk rock girlfriend (holder of said puppet titties) and Raimi Campbell (nudge, nudge) a horror expert who happens to be a virgin and lives in his mother’s basement. All that’s missing is the dumb jock for a complete 80s slasher type of lineup.
Outside of the novelty of a movie that is entirely cast by puppets, the strength of this film lies in it’s computer generated, beautiful and genuinely creepy backdrops. The story involved here is simple and honestly, when a movie is banking on your love of puppets and horror to attract you, it’s best to keep things simple. That’s not to say it’s not an entertaining story because it is well executed with extra points for a humorous and fulfilling backstory.
Does that make up for poor voice acting, uneven sound quality, kill scenes that amount to the puppet monster running into other puppets and thus making them dead and mostly lackluster dialogue? And fart jokes — old man fart jokes, main character fart joke and even rabbit fart jokes. Probably not, though your mileage may vary depending on your likes and dislikes in your horror movie.
The Monster Puppet Massacre is what the title says. Nothing more, nothing less. If you’re looking for a “diamond in the rough” horror film, keep mining those roughs. If you are looking for a strange, unique take meshing the horror genre with a genre not usually associated with it, it’s worth a look. The moments of competent storytelling are numerous enough to keep you interested throughout. It’s interesting enough to stoke the interest to check out the less gimmicky but equally as low budget Dustin Mills followups, Night of the Tentacles and Bath Salt Zombies.
On a tempered scale just for low budget B-movies, The Monster Puppet Massacre rates 4/10. Not quite as hardcore as Peter Jackson’s Meet the Feebles, but not as nonsensical either.
As a reader of this article/listener of the podcast, you can watch The Monster Puppet Massacre for free on The Movie and Music Network!! Just click on this link! Do I need to mention puppet titties again?!
