Episode 253: Jaws 2

jaws2Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water … Amity Island lost it’s damn mind again and doesn’t care if you get eaten by sharks again. We are hopping back in the water with the first sequel to Jaws.  Join Ron, Little Miss Horror Nerd and special guest host Clint the Reckless as they round up the overturned sailboats and fight off a man eating shark.  Learn the troubles of the production, whom Roy Scheider hated and even the name of the shark! More importantly, which Happy Days cast member’s lookalike is in the movie and plots that were supposed to happen that didn’t. Yeah, it’s screwed up.

HORROR NEWS: Death of Nelsan Ellis, John Bernecker, Martin Landau and George Romero

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The Friday Four – Four Observations About The Lost Boys

 

The Friday Four - Final

 

Welcome back to The Friday Four!

 

Let’s talk about The Lost Boys.  Almost everyone agrees that The Lost Boys is a great film, but when discussing the greatest horror films or even the greatest vampire films, The Lost Boys is never in the discussion.  Maybe it’s because the film is looked at as frivolous because it stars the two Coreys or because it’s teenage vampires (for the most part).

 

For me, it’s my favorite vampire flick.  Joel Schumacher managed to create a film that was both a product of it’s time (the late 80s – one of my favorite time periods) but also timeless. If you took the posters off of Sam’s walls and gave everybody cell phones, the film would still work perfectly today.

 

I had the opportunity to see it on the big screen last October, I think for the first time. I can’t remember if I saw The Lost Boys as a kid at the drive-in or via video rental. The latter seems more probable by that’s neither here nor there. I saw it at one of those fancy movie theaters that have servers and you can drink craft beer and eat nachos with weird toppings while you watch the movie.  While I was watching the movie for probably the 150th time, a few things donned on me.  These are the little facts and trivia that we are going to talk about today when we talk about…

 

FOUR OBSERVATIONS ABOUT THE LOST BOYS

 

1. Kelly Jo Minter is in this movie

 

kellyMaybe it’s because I hadn’t seen it on the big screen, but I never noticed Kelly Jo Minter’s name pop up in the opening credits. I did this time, so I actively looked for her in the film.  She is there, but you have to really look for her. She works in Max’s video store.

 

In the final cut of the movie, she has no lines and you can only see her in the background. I theorized that perhaps all of her scenes where cut. Perusing the deleted scenes of the film prove that theory accurate. I am guessing that it was decided in editing that her dialogue may give away too much about the true identity of Max and thus, her part was pretty much cut out.

 

I wish I had known this a couple of years ago when I met her at a convention. Instead of chatting about Summer School and discussions of a sequel to People Under the Stairs, I could have been like “WTF girl?!” when it came to The Lost Boys.  She would have been like “I know, right?”  We would have bonded and became besties and every year I could have a Christmas card from the dyslexic girl who couldn’t drive in Summer School.

 

Damnit.

 

 

 

2. The Lost Boys is a Disney reference

lostboysPerhaps this isn’t odd to you.  Maybe you’re sitting back and going “duh!” In full disclosure, I knew this before last year but it took a few viewings. It’s easy to overlook the fact the The Lost Boys is direct reference to the group of the same name from the classic Disney movie Peter Pan (which is itself based on the famous play by JM Barrie).

 

It doesn’t take much digging to find out that the original screenplay involved vampires aged 7-12 with the Frog Brothers being a pair of boy scouts. I am going to go on a hunch here and say if that screenplay had stuck, I wouldn’t be writing this column about The Lost Boys today. The reference still works, however. I suppose that makes Max Captain Hook, but there is seemingly no direct reference to Peter Pan unless you count Star.

 

The Lost Boys are essentially boys who will never grow up. In Peter Pan, they will never grow up because the live in Neverland.  In The Lost Boys movie, these teenagers will never grow up because they are vampire. Different paths, same results. I’ve never read all the material on Neverland’s Lost Boys, but I am guessing Nibs doesn’t die in a bathtub full of holy water.

 

3. David isn’t dead

davidThis one came to me as a surprise during this latest viewing.  It just hit me.  David looks so peaceful after his “death” via deer antler.  He looked like a person laying in a coffin, which I suppose is apropos. But he didn’t explode. He didn’t implode. He didn’t disintegrate.  He didn’t die screaming a bloody death.  Something is fishy.

 

Throughout the movie, the Frog Brothers are sure to let us know that no two vampires die exactly alike.  With all of those forms of death mentioned above, they seem to be accurate. Somehow, calmly dies peacefully didn’t seem to be on the list.  I get that they were also going for the whole innocent boy look to kind of preview what David may have been like before turning into a vampire, but there was something shady about it as well.

 

A quick hunt on the internet confirmed these suspicions.  David was not exactly dead.  It was left open for his return in the scripted by not filmed sequel The Lost Girls.  There is also a comic book which heavily implies David is the sire of the head vampire in The Lost Boys: The Tribe.  Take it for what you will, but it is pretty interesting.

 

4. It’s influence on Buffy the Vampire Slayer

vampoutI am positive that I have watched The Lost Boys since watching every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  Thus, I am sure that I have had this observation before but The Lost Boys is obviously a huge influence on Buffy.  I don’t know if Joss Whedon saw it at the dollar show twenty times when he was younger, but he has to be a fan.

 

Ten years before Buffy was a TV show (and five before it was a movie starring Keifer Sutherland’s dad), The Lost Boys had vampires that “vamped out.” They look different from their human counterparts.  Their foreheads are a bit bumpier and their facial structures are not normal — unless you’re Ron Pearlman.  And if you are, it’s a pleasure that you are reading my article, Mr. Pearlman.

 

This is the basis for every vampire in Buffy, a show that also liberally uses the term “vamp out,” which was first muttered in this film. Plus, where do you think they got Spike from?

 

spikevsdavid

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Bonus Episode 15: Anniversary Commentary – The Blob (1988)

blobIt’s that time of the year again.  It’s our fifth birthay!  You know what that means — special bonus commentary episode!  Grab Hulu, the DVD if you have it or some other method of watching The Blob (1988), push play on this episode and on your streaming device of choice and let’s have a blast watching The Blob together!  On this episode Ron and Little Miss Horror Nerd are joined by Darien Brock (Padded Room Podcast) and Clint the Reckless (exclusive to The Resurrection of Zombie 7) on this commentary. Learn who would die first in case of a Blob attack, listen to a bunch of priest jokes by Clint the Reckless and listen to Clint the Reckless and Ron do shots every time somebody smokes are drinks. A good time was had by all.

Catch Darien Brock on The Padded Room Podcast — new shows every week!

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Episode 252: Jaws

jawsYou know whenever you go swimming in the ocean, you’re looking around for sharks constantly … even though you literally have a better chance of dying via vending machine than via shark attack and we all know why you’re looking around.  It’s this movie. It’s Jaws. Join Ron, Little Miss Horror Nerd and guest host Hammer as they go through one of the most classic movies in the history of cinema.  Before they talk about the shark — some big announcements are made about the podcast starting a store and a Patreon.  There are even announcements about a new upcoming horror review and podcast page. A lot of stuff crammed into this episode!  Learn the ins and outs of the movie that made summer blockbusters what they are today! Learn why Jessica roots for the shark.  Learn everything you ever wanted to know.  We are celebrating shark month — screw just one week!

HORROR NEWS: Castle Rock, Cult of Chucky, Tremors 6

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The Friday Four – Four Horror Souvenirs

The Friday Four - Final

 

Hello all and welcome back to The Friday Four.

 

Today, I’d like to talk about something that any self respecting horror fan has thought about — horror souvenirs. I’m not talking about that Amityville shirt you’re wearing or the Bates Motel Cabin #1 keychain attached to your house keys. When I say souvenir, I mean something from one of the movies that I would really love to have.

 

I took it a step further and eliminated anything I could easily acquire on the internet.  For as cool as it is to have Jason’s hockey mask, Michael’s mask or Freddy’s glove, I can get all those pretty quickly on the internet and made right down to the last detail. Could the items on my list be custom made?  Sure. Anything can. These items on the list would need to be custom made or the originals from the movie and in the first case, could not even be made again.

 

What am I talking about? Well, I guess there’s only one way to find out. Feel free to share a horror souvenir you want from one of your favorite movies below

 

Today, for the Friday Four, I give you…

 

FOUR HORROR SOUVENIRS FROM THE SET I WOULD WANT

 

1. Dongface mask, Sleepaway Camp

sleepaway

This is the one that cannot be duplicated. There is only one in existence and according to our interview with Felissa Rose, it is falling apart somewhere in Robert Hiltzik’s attic. It can’t be duplicated because Felissa Rose isn’t still 12 years old and a mask made from her face today would be much different than that particular mask.

 

Yes, I would own the mask that was applied to some poor, drunk college kid’s face to make him look like a 14 year old girl with a penis. Then I would find this man and call him — just to let him know that I have it.  He will fear me.

 

This is a one of a kind souvenir from one of the most celebrated and twisted scenes in horror movie history. I would like to think that upon donning said mask you automatically take your clothes off, throw your hands in the air and scream into the skies. Now, I have to rely on homemade meth to get that kind of a high.

 

How would it best be used: While I would love to put this mold on my face and chase people throughout my backyard with my dong hanging out, I fear the delicate nature of it’s current state would dictate that it be put on display only.

 

2. Tatum’s shirt, Scream

tatum

I know what you’re thinking — what the hell do you need with a questionable lime green shirt?  If you settle down for a moment, I’ll tell you. It’s probably the second most iconic death in the entire Scream franchise — even if people don’t remember the actress, the character or the shirt, they remember somebody got smooshed at the top of a garage dooe while stuck in the pet door.

 

Let’s add to that the factor that I can forever say “How many pieces of clothing do you own that once prominently featured Rose McGowan’s nipples (you didn’t think I was going to go this entire writeup without mentioning that, did you?)?” and what’s not to love. No one will ever defeat you at the Rose McGowan’s nipple clothing game.  I just made that game up, but it should be a thing.  Where is my kickstarter?!

 

If I could get the Rose McGowan dummy that goes in the shirt, that would be a bonus but isn’t that a little creepier?  I know me and I know I’d end up taking dead Rose McGowan dummy on dates and things.  Let’s not tread down that path, shall we?  The shirt is more than enough.

 

How would it best be used: Sexual cosplay implications aside (we would need a blonde wig for that one as well), it would be a spiffy addition to my Tatum Riley Halloween costume. I can also envision me getting drunk and wearing this at parties. Now that I think of it, I don’t know that it would last that long in my possession.

 

3. The television, Poltergeist

poltergeist

When thinking of souvenirs from Poltergeist, most people are going right for the clown doll. I get it. I’m not like most people. My brain doesn’t work correctly, plus any clown doll is kind of scary.  To have the actual TV from the set of Poltergeist?  That’s the portal to the other dimensions, kids.  If you stare too long, you get drawn into the house and a midget lady has to come and save you.

 

Do you know how many hours would be lost staring at the static of this TV?  I assume that this TV can only play static, not just from the movie, but because it’s an old ass TV most likely with no way to hook any of the modern gadgets to it.  DVR and Roku? No. Making small children scary and portals into demonic dimensions?  Yes.

 

Even if the TV never worked again, you would have a vintage classic tube TV from the early 80s.  That’s something, right?  Cool kids?  We had a TV like this.  Damnit, I’m old.

 

How it would best be used:  Obviously anytime I have a party (about three times a year) I’d have this sucker on every time because it’s the TV from Poltergeist and it you can’t realize how cool that is, then you shouldn’t be at one of my parties.  This would also be a fun trick to turn on when people sleep over, though I fear that I will wake up one day and someone will be staring directly into it.

 

4. Tarman, Return of the Living Dead

tarman

Return of the Living Dead is generally an underrated classic (I know that’s an oxymoron). Even when the movie is mentioned in conversation, the classic villain of the movie doesn’t get much play. That may be because outside of biting Suicide’s brain through his head, Tarman doesn’t do a lot in the entire Return of the Living Dead franchise.  In fact, at one point, he is seen on the side of the road trying to hitch a ride.

 

For this endeavor, I would need the puppet version of Tarman.  For those of you who haven’t listened to our podcast on Return of the Living Dead (and why haven’t you?) Tarman was half puppet and half guy in a costume.  The costume would be pretty cool, but a mansized walking and talking puppet?  This is gleam in every man-child’s eye.

 

I have to work on my Tarman voice so I can yell “Brains!”  Excuse me.

 

How it would best be used: Tarman would be my friend.  My confidante. Me amigo.  He would sit in the passenger seat of my car.  He would lay in the guest bed.  He would watch TV and play video games with me. Tarman is my best friend.  I miss him already.

 

 

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