Episode 171: Hello Mary Lou, Prom Night II

Prom_Night_2After you dig into that turkey but before you go into food coma, come join Ron, Little Miss Horror Nerd and their mystery guest to discuss all things Hello Mary Lou, Prom Night II.  Jamie Lee Curtis may be gone, but Mary Lou Maroney burst onto the scene with style — meaning she is a burnt corpse bursting out of the current prom queen.  It may be Thanksgiving in America, but put on your tuxedos and best dresses — we’re going back to the prom, baby!  Bring the turkey with you because damn, turkey is good.

HORROR NEWS: Hocus Pocus 2, The Dark Tower casting, House remake, Alien toys



This week’s mystery guest….


Darien Brock can be found on The Padded Room podcast!

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Little Miss Horror Nerd’s Little Horror Blog 103


Spoilers Alert!

Hey Kids (Editors’s Note: Zombies.  It’s zombies!)! I am back this week with another list. I know it is Thanksgiving week but I do not have any turkeys for you. There are just not that many killer turkey movies (Editor’s Note: This is a glaring mistake in the horror community).


This week, I give you a second list list of ten favorite sexually related murders from horror films in no particular order. This is a sequel to a previous blog list i wrote about two years ago. It consists of a varied assortment of penis attacks, butthole bashings, and sex toy sieges. Happy Reading!


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1.  Zombeavers (2014) – Mary and a few of her girlfriends decide to spend a leisurely weekend at a lake cabin in the woods sans men. The men show up anyway and shortly thereafter the group realizes there are some invited guests hanging around the lake. Zombie beavers have overtaken this town and if you are bitten it isn’t pretty. You will turn into a zombie that is a cross between a human and a beaver. There is a nasty little scene where a zombeavered Jenn bites off her boyfriend’s penis when she finds him cheating with her best friend. Don’t cheat guys you might lose your member!




2. I Spit On Your Grave (2015) – Jennifer is a back! She has recovered (kind of?) from her attack in the 2010 remake. She is attending a rape group where she meets another damaged lady, Marla. When Marla is murdered by her abusive ex, Jennifer goes on a rampage. She hunts down the ex and seduces him. While Jennifer is giving him head she bites down HARD biting off his penis. She then proceeds to stab him in what remains of his dick leaving him to bleed out. That is one furious lady. This scene was extremely brutal and tough to watch. Unlike Zombeavers there was nothing funny about this scene.



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3. Charlie’s Farm (2014) – This film is an Australian slasher film starring Tara Reid. Four friends set out to check out a place called Charlie’s Farm. The farm was owned many years prior by a family of serial killers who reminded me a bit of Leatherface’s family. The townsfolk eventually take their own revenge, killing the husband and wife when the cops won’t act. Their mentally disabled child, Charlie, escapes capture. However, he has been hiding on the farm and living there since and has grown into the most ginormous man I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Tara and her friends decide to explore the farm and are dead meat. In the craziest kill in the movie, one of the men is swimming in the river nude. He spots Charlie lurking and gets out to confront him. Charlie takes one look at this guy lops off his dick and shoves it down his throat. A bit of trivia — Charlie is played by Nathan Jones. Nathan was known as Megaman back in the 90s. At 6’11” 360 lbs he placed high in the World Musclepower Championships. So if you decide to watch this movie, just know it is no special effect Charlie is really that big. (Editor’s Note: Nathan Jones also spent about a year in professional wrestling. He wrestled in WWE. he even became tag team partners with The Undertaker at Wrestlemania 19).




4. Girlhouse (2014) – A college girl, Kylie, gets a job working in a house full of x-rated webcam models to pay her tuition. When one of the girls insults Loverboy (a regular client of Kylie’s) all hell breaks loose. Loverboy finds the house and goes on a killing spree. Dead hot girls and boobs abound in this slasher which had some pretty great deaths. My personal favorite was the girl who had her dildo jammed down her throat and her mouth taped shut. Obviously she suffocated. Girlhouse is a fun little Canadian slasher. You can stream it on Amazon.




5. Last House On the Left (1972) – If you are a horror fan, I imagine you have seen this film so you will be familiar with this entry. Mari and Phyllis are kidnapped on the way to a concert by Weasel and his gang of psychopaths and murderers. They are subsequently tortured, raped, and murdered by Weasel and his friends.  These idiots then go to Mari’s home and gain access by tricking her parents into believing they are traveling salesman. However, Mari’s mom Estelle soon discovers these are her daughter’s killers. In a scene that is both sick and satisfying, Estelle convinces Weasel to let her blow him with his hands tied. She bites it off just as he is about to climax and leaves him to bleed to death. The gore wasn’t over the top but the impact comes from the motivation.




6. Cabin In the Woods (2012) – Jules and Kurt are having some sex on the forest floor. Unbeknownst to them they are being stalked by a zombie family of killers. In the middle of the action Jules gets a knife to her hand and Kurt a stab to his back. Although we later learn Kurt survives the attack, poor Jules suffers a horrible death. She first gets a bear trap to the back,  is dragged away by the trap, and then decapitated by a rusty saw while her boobs hang out. No death with dignity for her!




7.  Gone Girl (2014) – OK OK I know what you are thinking!  Gone Girl isn’t a horror film. You would be right. However, there is one scene that is one of the most horrifying and disturbing deaths during sex I’ve seen in a very long time. Amy Dunne finally gives old college boyfriend Desi what he has always wanted. She has sex with him. Desi is on top of Amy, who with her blonde hair and sexy lingerie is angelic. At the moment Desi climaxes Amy pulls out a very sharp knife and slits his throat and then lays there while he seemingly continues to fuck her and bleeds out. That, my friends, is horror.




8.  Friday the 13th Part IV (1984) – This death is hardly the best sex or sex organ related death in the franchise. It is, however, worth a mention. After catching her boyfriend, Paul, flirting and dancing with another girl, Sam runs out of the house and down to the lake. Paul at least has the good sense to go after her. Once at the lake, he discovers a dead Sam already murdered by Jason. Paul has no time to react because before we know it he has a spear to the dick and is then tossed into the lake to bleed to death or drown whichever comes first.



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9. 2001 Maniacs (2005) – This film is a remake of the 1964 Two Thousand Maniacs.
Six college kids on their way to Florida wind up instead in a town called Pleasant Valley. Pleasant Valley is a cemetery or memorial for 2001 Confederate soldiers murdered there 140 years prior. Robert Englund is the star of this movie and I have to say the deaths are extremely gruesome. My pick from this movie is Nelson’s death. He is seduced by a beautiful milkmaid whose name we never get. Milkmaid climbs on top of Nelson wearing a hot, white lingerie set. While riding him she persuades him to suck on a tube. Bad news for Nelson the tube sends acid down his throat and eventually he burns to death from the inside out. Boy! beautiful women can be hazardous to a man’s health.



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10. I Spit On Your Grave (2015) – My last pick was from a previous film. So far, we were missing a death involving a butthole so this is it. Once again, Jennifer is on a rampage when she learns that a little girl in her rape support group is being currently molested by her step father while her mother turns a blind eye. Jennifer cannot allow this to continue. She kidnaps said molester ties him to a chair and tortures him. Her grand finale is a metal pipe jammed so far up this guy’s ass it should have come out his mouth. Another extremely disturbing death. I did like this film but if I had a bone to pick it would the faulty message it sends that all men are rapists.



Feel free to add your favorite sexy or just sexual deaths in the comments and Happy Thanksgiving!

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Episode 170: Prom Night

promIt’s November and you know what that means — time to go to the prom?  We don’t do stuff at normal times around here.  Anyhoo:

You are cordially invited to the 1980 prom of Hamilton High.  Attire is formal, but must be loose enough to disco dance the night away. Chaperones (including the police) will be present, but will conveniently look the other way if you want to have sex in a random room, smoke weed in a creeper van or if you would like to kill our students in a variety of rooms without hassle.  Don’t worry, our top notch janitor will be on sight to take care of any blood stains.  This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to see Jamie Lee Curtis disco dance, with a special introduction by Lou, the local unibrow.

Ron, Little Miss Horror Nerd and the first of four mystery guests (as is our holiday time tradition) will guide you through the entire process, bare ass and all.

HORROR NEWS: American Horror Story renewed, Prometheus sequel issues and Empire of the Dead



Below is information in regards to the Mystery Guest


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Buy new book, How Zombies Conquered Pop Culture….right here!

Buy his old book, American Zombie Gothic….right here!

Follow him on Twitter…right here!

Dr. Walking Dead is a semi-regular guest on Jay of the Dead’s Horror Movie Podcast!

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Episode 169: Tremors Wrap Up Show

tremorsHey zombie!  That time is amongst us once again.  We have had a blast in Perfection, Mexico, Rejection and even South Africa  following the exploits of Burt Gummer and his various sidekicks as they take on the likes of Graboids, Shriekers, Ass Blasters, Melvin and even various governments of the world. However, we must say goodbye to all these things as it’s time to move on from giant worms in the sand to other equally horrifying things.  Join Ron and Little Miss Horror Nerd as they interview Jonathan Melville, the author of Seeking Perfection: The Unofficial Guide to Tremors, talk Tremors vs. Scream, the future of the franchises, rate their top five death in the franchise and go through Ten Questions about the Tremors franchise.

HORROR NEWS: The death of Gunnar Hansen, Midnight Texas, new Friday the 13th video game Kickstarter rewards

Order Jonathan Melville’s Seeking Perfection: The Unofficial Guide to Tremors right here!




RIP GUNNAR HANSEN (March 4, 1947 – November 7, 2015)

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Little Miss Horror Nerd’s Little Horror Blog 102


In honor of this coming week’s Friday the 13th I am giving you my ranking of the franchise’s films including the reboot from worst to best!


12. Jason Goes to Hell : The Final Friday is in my opinion not only the worst sequel in this franchise but in my estimation the worst sequel in the three big horror icon franchises. Yes! I am saying this beats any of the Halloween and A Nightmare On Elm Street sequels. Hell can barely be called a Friday film. The killer? Not Jason. The location? Not a campground. The only time you see a campground is the best moment of the film which is when Deborah is murdered while riding her boyfriend. I don’t know what this movie was trying to be but it never became much of anything. If you are into possession films, just watch Fallen. Do yourself a favor and forget this one because that is what you will do right after watching it.






11. Jason X. Why? Friday films are at heart good old fashioned slasher films. A remote location, some teens, and Jason. Very simple formula. Unfortunately for the 9th film in this franchise, studio executives decided to complicate things. Jason went to space where there are no trees, lakes, or kids (Editor’s Note: Only there were kids). I have never understood horror icons being sent to space in a sequel. It is nothing more than a gimmick that doesn’t work. Thankfully, Michael Myers has so far avoided getting the space treatment. If the franchise doesn’t start in space it should never go there.





10. Jason Takes Manhattan. I guess Jason taking New Jersey campgrounds for the previous six films was not enough. In this mess (despite of being drowned in the previous film and banished to the lake) Jason learns how to hold his breath and swim. He puts these skills to use and climbs onto a boat full of high school graduates cruising to Manhattan to celebrate.

I hate this movie. The location was wasted and therefore pointless. I think only one or two Manhattanites were actually murdered just because they got in the way. You suffer through this disaster only to have insult added to injury when Jason is de-aged back to a child in the NYC sewer system for your grand finale of an ending.





9. Friday the 13th 5: A New BeginningNot so much. I’d characterize this movie as a wrong turn in a successful franchise. Although this sequel has teens and kills, the bizarre location and lack of Jason (except in flashbacks) makes this film a loser
while still loosely fitting in the with the previous films. I did not notice the lack of Jason during my first viewing back in the 80s and maybe that’s for the best since it delayed my annoyance and disappointment when the reveal finally came at the end. Overall, this has never felt like a Friday movie to me.





8. Friday the 13th 7: The New Blood. For many years this movie was one of my favorite Friday sequels. After viewing it and the other sequels with a more critical eye in the last few years, it has dropped several spots. There were definitely decent kills and we were still in the woods for this one. I also enjoyed Terry Kiser as Tina’s deranged Doctor. I didn’t care for Tina’s Carrie like abilities or the who cares story of her dad’s death. Unfortunately, this film suffered from cuts to obtain an R rating in which we lost explicit gore in several of the deaths. Although this movie has problems, it is the last sequel that fits the franchise and does its job as an enjoyable 80s sequel.






7.  Friday the 13th 3D. In some ways, this movie is the perfect middle of the road slasher film. I do not like or dislike 3D. In the 80s, it was bad and the blue/red glasses gave you a headache. We do have kids, a cabin , Jason, and the catchiest theme song I’ve ever heard in a horror movie. This was another backstory I really didn’t give a shit about and I found it gross that it was hinted that Jason may have molested or raped Chris. This film was and still is entertaining and Chris’s story doesn’t ruin the movie for me.





6. Friday the 13th Part 2. This is another of the Friday sequels that fits in perfectly with the franchise. It is not amazing but it is our introduction to Jason, which has saved us from another crappy back story we don’t care about for a character we will never see again. The opening scene where Jason travels to Alice’s apartment to kill her is pretty ludicrous. How does he get there? Does he go by plane, train, or bus? Perhaps he owns a car and drove? Where does he get the money to travel? Whatever the explanation, it will probably make zero sense so I have just accepted the scene. He can’t let his mother’s killer live now can he?

This film out of all the sequels feels the most like the original.





5. Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives was my favorite sequel at one time. I still think it is a near outstanding entry. Tommy is back (albeit a cuter version) and he sure has made a huge mess of things by resurrecting Jason. Now that damn Jason is killing a new batch of counselors at Forest Green (a renamed Crystal Lake)! Everyone thinks Tommy is the murdering freak because he kind of got the reputation of a psycho in the last two movies. I have always enjoyed this installment in the franchise with its hot cast, humor, cool kills, continuity and of course the REAL Jason.
The absence of bare breasts doesn’t matter because it is a genuinely good film. Kudos to the studio for leaving the piece of trash that was part V behind and coming back strong.





4. Friday the 13th (2009). I was very pleased with the reboot and surprised it wasn’t a pile of garbage. It was not a remake. Instead, it incorporated plot points from several of the films including parts two, four and the original. I particularly liked the opening sequence which sets up the rest of the film and gives a few of the characters valid reasons for being at the camp. The casting was spot on in my opinion for a slasher film. Someone in casting even managed to choose a young lady, Julianna Guill, whose boobs are mentioned by every man I have ever heard talk about this film. My favorite kill is the sleeping bag kill which is a nod to the sleeping bag kill from Part VII except this time Jason roasts the victim like a marshmallow!






3. Freddy Vs. Jason. This is what The New Blood was intended to be. I’m glad it waited. I think we got a much better film than we would have back then. I really kind of love this fever dream of a film. It is like a very scary but fun acid trip. The cinematography is amazing. We have Robert Englund for the last time as Freddy, and we have the Elm street and Crystal Lake kids together! There are moments when this group of kids take on a Scooby Gang vibe when they have Jason in the back of their van and they are on their way to Crystal Lake to pit the two killers against one another in an effort to get them to stop murdering everyone else. This movie had everything but the kitchen sink and I loved it. It was also a great last dance with Freddy.





2. Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter. This didn’t used to be my favorite sequel. However, I rewatched it about two years ago with a more critical eye and changed my mind. This sequel has the strongest and most cohesive story of all except Part Two. Although we do not know Tommy and his family prior to this movie, they fit into the Friday world well. We are also introduced to Rob, the sibling of a murdered counselor from part two. It is Tommy, his sister and Rob that drive this story. We still get the sex obsessed teens who do drugs, fuck, and get murdered but of all of the sequels this one has the most heart. While we have a final girl here, the real hero and defeater of Jason is a child.






1. Friday the 13th. I love this film. It’s really nothing special when you get right down to it but it’s a simple slasher flick with a cast of unknowns (at the time) for the most part. Except that it’s not. The story is quite clever because while the trend at the time was crazy dudes killing hot girls this movie was not at all what it appeared to be. Friday the 13th is a mystery through and through. Unfortunately, the cat has since been let out of the bag but it was still in when I saw it for the first time. Much like Scream we didn’t know who the killer was and although it wasn’t as fancy as Scream, the mystery still gave it something extra.

There you have it! My ranking of the Friday films. Feel free to tell us yours in the comments.

Happy Friday the 13th!

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